Saturday 1st  X1

2003 always promised to be the season of the immediate bounce back to Division 1 - there again Kevin Rickard promised not to eat so much tea.

Despite only losing one league game we missed promotion by a mere 5 points ending up with a total of 351. Having started with a degree of mediocrity (we historically play our best in August), we successfully managed to maintain this level throughout and despite posting more than acceptable totals were never able to penetrate with our bowling attack.

Some notable performances came from Alistair Evans with 6 for 51 at Wadhurst, Jim Nolan in the same game with 101 (scored predominately in boundaries so as to avoid any unnecessary running) and a steady contribution with the bat from Mark Hilfiker who topped the season's averages. Nigel "I'll throw my helmet if I want to" Adams kept well, though his high standards were not reflected when holding a bat.  

Johnny Norfolk showed great all round promise but with, on occasions, only 3 hours sleep, did not always fulfil his potential. The Atkinson double act contributed hugely with both bat and ball and if either of them ever find their way back from overseas will hopefully do the same in 2004. Olly Wills travelled colossal distances to play and his efforts were well rewarded. Unfortunately this year Snowy's hair products proved slightly more effective than the man himself.  

Finally a huge "thank you" to Les Read our retiring groundsman for all his work and to our scorer Tom Hutson for his outstanding support, tempered by an outright and outspoken opinion as to where we were going wrong.  

Not withstanding the lack of match-winning performances, the season was still very enjoyable but I can assure everyone that the Harveys will definitely taste better if we win more games and achieve promotion in 2004.

Saturday 2^nd XI   

Perhaps we should take the responsibility for our relegation last year on our own shoulders, like true sportsmen…… but personally I would rather blame a freakish inability to ever win the toss, the umpires, dodgy pitches, the weather and Tony Blair.  

If only the rest of the league had stopped playing cricket at the start of June, as we did, we would have been promoted with ease. Three early wins promised glory and the dizzy heights of Division III cricket beckoned tantalisingly, before reality set in and we started dropping down the league like a curry through a spaniel. 

Despite a squad of 41 cricketers…and Billy, we never managed to score enough runs, ten times we went into bat first and eight times we lost that game (take note Skip). There were many good performances, occasionally by us, including the reliable Simmo leading the batting averages again, the bowling of Kevin Rickard before his knee gave way under the weight of Hannah’s teas, Giles King’s excellent attempt to salvage his average in the last game and Derek & Ken’s last stand to prolong the agony at Crowborough amongst them.  

The results, however, don’t blemish the fond memories of the best teas in Sussex, Roger carrying his pet tree out to the middle, Billy’s black eyes and Derek’s red eyed alien look, Simmo’s self mutilation, Teflon’s catching (!), a slip cordon with the mobility and reactions of an oil tanker, the Barry White Tribute, the pre match injury clinics, Billy’s statue impersonations, Ian’s inability to navigate (or spot a perfectly good leg glance), and long hours on the Pamela Anderson website. Happy days.  

This year, we are trying the novelty of having a captain. He has promised selections and tactics will be based solely on merit and ensuring he tops the averages. I can’t wait.

 “Strollers”  

Once again the Strollers enjoyed a memorable summer. The weather behaved and provided us all with some glorious afternoons at our home ground- Plumpton Agricultural College.  

We certainly won more games than we lost, with some individual brilliance during the course of the season…Giles Wheeler came good with the ball, swinging it a country mile , “6 for”, was it not? Guy Davis got his mother to produce two superlative cricket teas and therefore maintaining his position in the team as opening bowler. Doc “Iron Gloves” Woollens recorded an astonishing innings of 80 not out, taking us to historic victory against Lewes St Michaels carrying his bat throughout the innings and scoring 75 of his 80 runs in the last over! (He was dropped to No. 11 the following week.) Roger “snorkel” Spurr fell to his knees with exhaustion after scoring his maiden century - we all cried that night. Then we got pissed as usual! Well done Rog…Brilliant.  

High praise to all the regulars/stalwarts for making the “Strollers” a great success,

namely Geoff “Can I borrow your big box Nick?” Theakston, James “Young Man” Emmens, Ken “Youth Policy” Butcher, Tim “Vicey” Claringbull, Roger “Half Pint” Linn, Steve “The Duke” Booth, David “Jesus” Redmond, Jerry “Bothered” Searle and Johnny “Big Boy” Gillott (for small men) and not forgetting our man in the white coat Stan “The Man” Abrahams.  

Also a big thank you to the youngsters who supported the team by playing the odd match namely Ollie Titcomb, Tom and Harry Booth.  

Here's to another fun packed summer in 2004!

Sunday XI

Let us not dwell on statistics; let us look at the facts. The 2003 season saw a fantastic new level of input from players and supporters alike. With all day matches against new and old, port consumption at Ditchling on Sundays is again on the rise.  

I would like to thank some 60-odd players last season for bearing with my determination to play cricket in all conditions--umbrellas rather than stumps were more appropriate at times! We had many new members join last year and a special note of thanks goes out to Jerry Spencer for taking an extraordinary five RNVR wickets after heavy port consumption at lunch. Also to Matt Dean for the most entertaining injuries outside of cricket. These ranged from damaging a leg whilst jumping over a hedge to retrieve a child's football, to firing nitrous oxide into his eye during welding. One of my most enduring memories against a side going by the name of Mogador was Bill Baxter providing his own head with slip practice; unfortunately he put it down.  

I would also like to thank the dedication of Johnny Norfolk's mother, Annie, who brought the young man from his night shift to arrive at 3.00 pm just in time to hit fifties with half an hour to spare before tea on three separate occasions.  

Finally Tom Marshall is now our esteemed vice captain. His dedication and enthusiasm is second to none. Sunday cricket at Ditchling is again a family affair with children running riot and causing havoc. All I can say is I am certain we will have an excellent year and long may the havoc continue.